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On Christopher Jordan Dorner: We might’ve been friends
An ex-cop named Christopher Jordan Dorner wrote an 18-page manifesto that I felt compelled to read for some reason. He’s killed three people so far. The majority of the suicide letter (let’s not mince...
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Protected: Bday: Awesome presents, terrible company
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Haiku, boredom assassin
good first try Most art styles often take years of training to do well, but it’s not difficult to achieve a mediocre haiku. Haiku is my preferred weapon in the battle against boredom in meetings or...
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Doggie toof brushin’
Boyfriend plays WoW arena with a guy who has a menagerie of pets at his folks’ place (he’s a college freshman this year), and occasionally tells us hilarious stories about their personalities and...
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My new career as a part-time smartass, perhaps
I wrote a review of Beautiful Creatures, the worst book on the planet, on amazon.com a couple of months ago and got a lot more (read: any) attention than I expected. It served as my impetus to get on...
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Neutral journalism: I found some
A local paper in Jones County, Mississippi, published a front-page story entitled “Historic Wedding” about a lesbian couple in the local community who were recently married. Naturally, the paper got a...
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New obsession: Broodhollow
I’ve been following a new webcomic, Broodhollow, for a few weeks now and I’m totally mesmerized. The artwork is smooth and gritty with beautiful coloring. The characters jump off the page. The...
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A slow day at the office
Was I bored at work today? Yes. Is that any reason to not have fun? No. No it is not. So I texted Boyfriend. what a smartass
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Ugh, hipsters
The below happened months ago, but I thought of it when someone on my feed made a super hipster comment about having coffee while the sun is out (coupled with an instagram photo of some fucking palm...
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I can has bees!
I will join a several thousand-year-old tradition, and thereby become a badass Dad has decided he wants to keep bees. Naturally, I’m on board. We’re going to catch a swarm together, put it in the...
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Computers: THE SILENT KILLER, lol jk
fucking state of the art I work in an office that is often technologically backwards. I am surrounded by inept tree murderers who do not seem to fully grasp the function of a computer monitor as an...
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In Communist Russia, customer serves you
totally accurate Occasionally I poke around Medieval Collectibles to see what’s on sale that I might add to my Renaissance Faire costume. I’d been poking around for years before I finally got around...
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I could not give less of a shit about the pope if I tried
haven’t you been smokin’ a lot of peyote? Why do news outlets think the whole world needs to know every fucking detail of the pope “election” process? Who gives a shit? Catholics, that’s who. This...
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Grad school, wut are u doin… grad school… STAHP
i made this Another semester will begin in just over a week, and two thirds of the reading materials aren’t even available for the one class I’m taking. Thus begins the nonsense that is the Master’s...
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Group text shenanigans
You gotta be real careful when sending out a group text not to include some yahoo who will take the first chance to be a giant weirdo and inform all others on said text that your choice of friends has...
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I just want to start shit
Sister has me and Boyfriend hooked on Bob’s Burgers. It’s easily one of the funniest shows on TV right now (along with Ugly Americans, Archer and 30 Rock). Tina does that anxious moan that everyone...
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What’s taters, precious?
Dude, how awesome is Gollum? He’s hilariously, lovably tragic, and is the one thing that Peter Jackson managed to actually improve upon from the books. Then I drew him! Hooray! I am so pleased with...
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Japan, you sexy weirdo
I found an app a while back called Sleepy-time Boyfriend, and yes, it’s just as amazing as it sounds. It consists of about a dozen anime-ish drawings of Japanese men in various states of recline, each...
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Squirrel thief!
I was in the kitchen yesterday morning when I looked outside and saw a squirrel walking along the brick wall, and stop behind a rose bush. He smelled it for a minute, then started tugging on it, and...
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